No doors in walls to Keep out fear
just: Look and See, but no walls there...
once structures, now Convulsing lines
there's Is, there's Was, less timeless rhymes
no what, no I, but only Am
Am Flail for textures; Whisper, "damn..."
unbearable, Am's Feels Are Galled
Walled in, Crawling, no space at all!
nouns swiftly Twisting into verbs
Think straight! no theater left to Be absurd
Am Think, Think Knows, and on it Goes...
and then: Am Start. "Do Are Suppose?"
Are Could Aid Am by Opening...
the... the... constantly Creaking th...ing?
Are Know... what... Am... Am Trying to Say...
dear, Grab the Turns and Pull that... way...
Hope Looks; Look Sees; See Steps; Step Lands-
Am find myself in Are's... dear hands?
hands warm... Hands firm, Hands' Form confirms
Convulsions slow; Walls' Lines conform...
are... You... am I... I... feared I'd die
before I... held You one last Time...
I... want... to say... I've come to see...
That... You and I... We'll al...ways... be...
To be, verb. am-are-or-always
This is the beginning of a 3 part epic I wrote in 1996, recalled by David’s poem, it, too is about fractures, entity and Identity.
Sometime during my life I passed thru’ the door where no way is. Whether from choice, I entered in, or crawled my way in, as children do who have no respect for doors………
Choices are not, & the rooms have made themselves,
For my fear of shame & desire for Sameness
Gave birth to all my rooms of choice. Yet, they are wall- less,
Guarded by knob less doors, they spiral into my heart.
Within that space apart, I need to make that choice
To choose Choice Himself, to choose her unreservedly.
To open up my heart to Love & Trust & Sacrifice.
To dare to crawl as a child with no respect for doors
Into the place where no wall is.
That Place which transcends the World.
ARat.e.18/10/96 From Part One
When I penned this poem I was attempting to become “Me” as an Am I too was frustrated, I was safe but boxed in wall-less rooms with knob-less doors that I entered in like a child who neither knows nor cares, I did not know my SELF. (Could walk around those doors)
David speaks of a space that was once real -ly safe, though small, as the wall-less one in which I boxed myself, but David’s walls are defying the laws of existence. David’s room became as mine.
once structures, now Convulsing lines there's Is, there's Was, less timeless rhymes no what, no I, but only Am
To be solely and only a first person singular verb, not human, only part of the verb “to be” What? Yet “I” David have made and unmade those rooms but I has decreased and Am increased, angry frustrated, profane. Like the am I was David crawls, has become an infant too young to define himself.
To become aware of “things” which do, of the runner who runs, mayhap. O but second person could aid first person, but first person is not a Be-ing, no Personne -al pronoun defines this Are. Are knows but stutter shows the two are far from One.
Are Could Aid Am by Opening… the… the… constantly Creaking th…ing? Are Know… what… Am… Am Trying to Say… dear, Grab the Turns and Pull that… way..
Yet Are and Am open that door, which for me “no way was” and finds THE WAY. “I am” with “you are” are two parts of three. Reality reappears in a dance of joy the dance, the dancer, dancing . Back within that room David finds that Are and Am are One who’ll BE. And that one is He.
I… want… to say… I’ve come to see…
That… You and I… We’ll al…ways… be…
Perhaps it’s utter Tripe a meal I never could bear??? Growl